Almost too Angry to Speak…Almost.

I recently heard these words from my granddaughter, “my daddy holds me down on the bed and won’t let me up.” We were innocently going about our visit, I was cooking breakfast and she was playing her new PS4 that I recently bought her. In that moment, our whole world changed OR more pointedly our imagined world of safety. Because no girl, or woman is safe in a patriarchial society full of men that take what they want and receive no consequences, other than a pat on the back.

She said more, a whole lot more that day and then the next day and it became a 3-day nightmare of revealing a monster. A whirlwind of phone calls, text messages, visits with emergency and social services personnel. It was destruction at its highest. Destruction of innocence, trust, hope, faith and illusions.

No woman needs me to explain the illusion that is shattered. That illusion of any kind of safety in this world from a man or any trust in a system that is supposed to bring men to justice. Final word: no case will be opened. But I already knew that would be the outcome.

I moaned inside, I raged, I hid it all. Because I had to remain neutral for my granddaughter. I held space for her for 3 days so her mom could let it all out and then when she went home, it was my turn to let it all out.

This time…because yes, it happened to my daughter, to me, to my mother, to my grandmother and so on. This time, it is not enough to grieve the loss. This time I am using my voice to expose those who abuse.

That is what this blog is: Exposure.